File under those late night, insomnia-laden thoughts during pregnancy that you don’t dare utter out loud – whether or not your kid will be cute. We get it. We’ve been there. Is it normal to stress over your future offspring’s looks? Totally. Can you do a damn thing about it? Not really. But if you’re feeling weird or bad for even thinking about your daughter’s hair or your son’s nose when there’s so many more important factors (ya know, heart, brain, lungs etc), we polled some members of our community to show you just how normal your stresses are. Some even offered tidbits of advice to keep you from stressing over – and repeat after us – that which we cannot control:

• “You’ll never know if you have an ugly baby because you’ll think they’re beautiful anyway.”

• “Firstly, they are mad ugly as newborns. Second, I call myself my wife’s participation trophy husband. I was never fending off the ladies. My wife, however, is beautiful. Our three kids are beautiful.”

• “I think it is normal to worry about those things, particularly if you’ve never felt especially attractive. I think the odds of two less-attractive people having a beautiful baby are probably the same as two beautiful people having an ugly baby. You never know. You’ll love the baby anyway, and someone else will too, one day.
  
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• “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference. You can’t change this so try to find serenity and excitement in the adventure you’re about to have.”

• “Your concerns are normal. They were for me at least. I was petrified of my baby being ugly, and even had a few nightmares about it.I wouldn’t say I’m hideous, and neither was her father, and I’ve never been the kind of person to care all that much about my looks beyond the typical insecurities people have.”
• “Let me tell you, that literally all melts away when you meet your baby. I – and just about anyone that meets her – think my daughter is gorgeous. Your child will be beautiful to you no matter what.
  
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• “It’s absolutely normal to be worried about how attractive your kid will be, but the good news is that we live in a relatively polite society. If your kid is the cutest child on earth, people will gush over them. If they look like a pug’s head on a human’s body, people will still coo over your baby.
  
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  Nobody would ever walk up to you and say, “Hey, that is one ugly looking baby!” Now they will judge you for whether your baby is wearing socks because they think it’s too cold out, or why are you’re feeding your baby formula, or any number of other stupid judgemental parenting things, but you definitely don’t need to actually worry about what people think of your baby.”

• “Yeah it’s normal! But the good news is that you will probably think your baby is the most beautiful thing on earth no matter what.”

• “I joked when I was pregnant with my son that if he was ugly I was sending him back. Once he got to about a week old and all the swelling and water retention from birth and all that went away he was a beautiful baby. He’s still super cute at two. I think being worried about having an ugly baby is totally normal. Once they’re born though, he/she will be the most beautiful baby you’ve ever seen…because it’s yours.”

• “I think my hubby and I are average, I guess. Not overly attractive but not “take a second look how ugly they are.”He is Indian and I am white. Our son is gorgeous. He has the best of both of and some extra beauty that I don’t know where it comes from.”

We feel better already.